I hate calling my AUSTRALIAN Bank & ending up with some guy in a Call Center in Mumbai who speaks too quickly & has a thick indistinguishable accent.
If only life could have subtitles. Then I might understand why the fuck my loan which could've been processed on Monday still remains untouched on Thursday.
They have absolutely no interest in who you are or your problems because they are a few countries & an entire ocean away from you. What they care about is getting to their next call & reaching their 1 million phone calls per day quota plus one more to top Rishi who shares his cubicle, sitting inches away..
<-- cubicles in a stupid offshore call centerI also work in a Bank & we kinda cube.. of course nothing like THAT. Our workspaces are tolerable & although we often experience the phenomenon known as Meerkatting - an unpleasant environment it is not.
MEERKATTING (for you who don't know) is when 'there is a stir in the office, word spreads across the cubicles and the occupants get to their feet in a Mexican wave to peer over their partitions - alert, ears cocked.' Fiona Smith
Its funny as to how different we behave in a cubic situation. Out in the big ol' world, when someone sneezes you say 'bless you'. How rarely do you hear that in an office? Do you pretend you didn't hear the sneeze or do you say something & hope the person doesn't think you overhear EVERYTHING they say or every noise they make.
You could always send an email. 'Hi. BY. (Bless You)'
I read a funny article & have included an excerpt some of you might be able to relate to..
'.. people rush to work and complete their grooming at their desk. Some people clip their toenails, on goes the lipstick, the hair is being brushed, the deodorant is being applied. And then breakfast starts. Snap, crackle and pop can be a mite distracting in the morning, along with the usual coffee and tea making rituals.
But breakfast is a minor distraction by the time lunch comes along. There are a few reliable ways to start intercubicle warfare, and smelly food (particularly fish) is one of the worst breaches of etiquette.
It is bad enough if the smell of someone else's food puts you off yours, but the aroma of microwaved popcorn when you are dieting can be a killer.
Some people cringe when weddings and pregnancies are announced, knowing they are in for months of elbowing past knots of people inspecting ultrasound images or discussing whether to dress in white or cream. The office busybodies come over to coo and ahh at the perfect photos of the best ever wedding that ever was. Then the renovations start, and of course babies.'
FIONA SMITH ref JIM THOMPSON - The Survivals Guide: Keeping Your Cool in the Least Hospitable Environment on Earth
In my office we lay bets on one colleague saying in a phone call;
'My name's changed because I got married. I like to say we're happily married, I'm happy & he's married'
I mean.. EVERY phone call?! Is she from another planet? Some strange HAPPY planet? Must say now though (in case she's reading this) that she's a good sort.
And I lurved when I read about CUBICLE CRIMES
(of which I confess, I am an offender of maybe 1 or even 2)
FOOD: Eat fish or boiled eggs at your desk
VOLUME: It is a telephone, not a megaphone
DISCLOSURE: Your life is an open book
LURKING: Mr & Mrs Havachat
GROOMING: The at-your-desk makeover
(caught my neighbor clipping his nails once - omg!)
DISPLAY: Your fabulous (other) life in photos
HYGIENE: Your desk is a tip
MOBILE: Annoying ring tones
VOLATILITY: Temper, temper
REPETITION: Overuse of words (awesome! absolutely!)
